If you were born in the 80’s, raised in the 90’s, and made it to 2020, you have lived in 4 different decades, 2 different centuries, 2 different millennia, and you’re not even 40 yet. 🖤
𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟘 — I became a Mom for the 3rd and was fired while on my maternity leave, which I allowed to rob me of the joy being a new boy Mom.
𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟙 — I turned 30 and shortly after, my world started to fall apart, which sent me into a downward spiral. I suffered from a full blown mental breakdown, but hid from the world. It negatively impacted my health. I “dealt” by starting to drink heavily again + “recreational” use of drugs. By the end of the year I was 20 lbs. overweight, totally overwhelmed & contemplated ending my life because I was at the end of my rope.
𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟚 — I finally got sick & tired of being inactive, unhealthy, self-conscious and miserable & decided to do something about it. The Universe heard my cries & pointed me in the right direction/sent me exactly what I needed. With the help of a complete stranger from Miami, I got in the best shape of my life, which led to so much more than just physical results, such as me creating a side hustle duplicating what she did to help me. Helping others got me out of my head and I learned how to set goals & started DREAMING for the first time at age 31.
𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟛 — This was the year of my awakening. I immersed myself inPersonal Development. I did the inner work which TOTALLY transformed my mindset, helped me find clarity, the healing I desperately needed and I finally found a purpose for my pain. After 21 months, I finally found the courage to quit my job in the insurance industry & followed my passion, living a life with purpose and became a full-time online coach, earning 6-figures for the first time in my life. Doing so allowed me to finally act and most importantly feel like a Mom.
𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟜 — I spent most of the year on a major high from the success I had seen in the prior years. I was throughly enjoying the life I worked so hard to create. We traveled a lot. We also parties a lot. I was given the opportunity to be part of the 2nd ever coach test group for a new fitness program called PiYo. This opportunity totally changed the trajectory of my coaching career & opened up so many other doors (like being part of the infomercial) and created so much more self-confidence. At the end of the year, I started connecting with other Korean adoptees & for the first time started to acknowledge my desire to know & understand my heritage I was denied for my entire life.
𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟝 — This was the hardest year on our marriage & our family. The girls moved in with their Dad that May. And in June we separated for 2 1/2 months. We both sought professional help and addressed our addictions & mental health issues. I spent a week as an inpatient which saved my life & got me away from people who were trying to control & manipulate me & those who meant well with their advice. We reconciled. Everyone in my “Wolfpack” aka social circle abandoned me once I declared that I was breaking up with the party lifestyle.
𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟞 — I focused on rebuilding my business and making a comeback. I ignored the hurt from being abandoned by people who I thought would always be in my life, the awkwardness & anxiety that came with getting sober by burying myself in my work. I lost 15 lbs., immersed myself with Tony Robbins and our team ended the year as part of the Top 200 of our company.
𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟟 — There was a major shift in dynamics within my team (business) that took a toll on my mental health. My health started declining & I ended up gaining 30 lbs. without explanation. I spent the entire year trying to figure out what was wrong with no answers. It greatly impacted my confidence, relationships and business. But I got my firstborn to age 18 and to celebrate her, Ryan & I all jumped out of a plane to celebrate. It was something she had wanted to do since she was 14. It was an incredible moment for me as a parent. I withdrew myself from the world and spent most of my time in bed. We ended the year with Rebel having the flu Ryan with a broken leg.
𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟠 — The entire year was lived in “limbo”. We were begged/convinced to move back to my hometown when we were sold “a dream”, but it was anything but a dream once we got there 🙄 We lived apart for 9 weeks while Ryan got “settled” in California & I stayed behind while the kids finished out the school year. We lived in a 26’ RV for almost 6 months while I adjusted to being a full-time stepparent for the first time (which is not for the faint of heart 😳😬), all the while in a custody battle with a very bitter ex-wife & coping with being 2k miles away from my daughters. In a 3 month span Ryan sustained 2 major hand injuries (a shark bite and he almost lost his thumb in a log splitter accident). The upside was that I finally was put on the right meds that helped me my shit together & not let my anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder totally wreck me.
𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟡 — The greatest accomplishment was making it to 10 years of marriage when I can describe 2019, truly the worst year of my life in 3 words: WE. BARELY. SURVIVED.
Not to sound dramatic, but it was the hardest year of my life. I’ll spare you the details, but I honestly never felt so much despair or fear, which inhibited my ability to think straight or find a solution.
In hindsight, I can find a lot of positive things that came about because we endured such an incredibly tough year, but when living in the moment I could barely find a reason to keep breathing.
However, 2019 was my healthiest & fittest year of my life because it was just about the only thing I had control over. I reached 35 lbs. lost and kept it off.
We escaped my hometown & the depths of despair by the hair of our chinny-chin-chins & made it back to Texas … to our family two days before Thanksgiving. As this year is coming to a close there will be no love lost over 2019, only valuable lessons that will not only be carried into the next decade but the rest of my life.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵.
𝘐 𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘴.
𝘐 𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘰𝘮.
𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦.
𝘐 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘮.
𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱.
𝘐 𝘨𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘰𝘢𝘭𝘴.
𝘐 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦.
𝘐 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.
𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.
𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯.
𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦.
𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬.
𝘐 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘐 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘭.
𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.
𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵.
𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.
𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯.
𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦.
𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩.
𝘐 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.
𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦.
𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴.
𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴.
𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘴.
𝘐 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥.
𝙊𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙙 & 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙛𝙚𝙬 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨.
A lot has changed, but I’m ending this year, this decade with my family in tact & loving the same man that’s pushed me to my limits for the past 14 years. What more could I ask for??
𝐿𝒾𝒻𝑒’𝓈 𝒶 𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓃 𝒶𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝑜.