While I was going over some ideas in my head for 2014’s 1st quarter Super Saturday that I am hosting in Sugarland on my 33rd birthday – Saturday, 1/11/14, I started thinking about how many fears I have overcome in the past 22 months.
If you have NEVER attended one, you really should. I’ve found that some who have been invited elect to not attend because they ASSUME that it’s some fitness expo full of some hard bodied, competitive exercise junkies and the last thing they want to do is be stuck next to strangers, who they are sure they’ll feel inadequate when standing next to them because they aren’t as fit.
I’d like to set the record straight as to what type of environment you will find when you walk thru the doors. You will be welcomed warmly by a room full of MEN and women of all shapes, sizes, ages, fitness levels who’s common goals and struggles brought them there together. During the presentation, we share upcoming news about brand new Beachbody products, changes to current products, new training resources available to coaches, as well as details about the 2015 Success Club Trip & Elite Qualifications.
While there, I encourage you to start scanning the faces in the crowd. In the crowd, there will be people from the local Houston community and others who have traveled sometimes up to FOUR hours away to be here among you. Some came because they were invited by their coach or a friend and are curious about the business opportunity to new coaches and because they want to connect with others who share the same vision and priorities. Amongst the crowd will be many coaches who have been part of Team Beachbody from 1 day to 4+ years. You may see people who are just starting their journey and may currently be at 300 +/- lbs. while others in the crowd, maybe half way to their goal, but also started out at the 300 lb, range, but have lost lost close to 100 lbs., since joining the Team Beachbody Community. You will see single people, married people, people who work high powered corporate jobs, to college students, to business owners to stay at home moms and even some full-time coaches, like myself. You will see people from their early 20’s to even their 60’s. There is no stereotype that you must fit to qualify to be a coach, much less attend the nationwide quarterly events.
One of my favorite parts of Super Saturday is hearing different people from our own area, share their own transformation success story. Usually by the time it’s all said and done, there is not a dry eye in the house. You can see and feel the emotions and you can relate to what these people are feeling & going thru. It is crazy because sometimes it’s scary, how their story seems so parallel to your own and you feel this connection to someone you may have never seen or met up until this day. And maybe the first time in your life or in a long time you realize YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And this opens your eyes and gives you the strength to not give up or get let a temporary feeling of discouragement allow you to cast aside your goals. And this is why these events are so life changing and vital for you as a person.
As a Member of the Houston Market Council, I have been thinking of some local people, coaches who I have sponsored or some of my current customers, who would be a great candidate to be a speaker at this Super Saturday.
I decided to look to see if anyone would be willing to share their story, so I posted what I was looking for in my private online coaches group asking my coaches if they’d be interested in speaking. I received a few responses. One of my dear friends said she’d be willing to as a last resort, if we couldn’t find anyone else, because she felt her “story wasn’t that fabulous”. Another one of my dear friends said she too would be willing to speak, even though she’s “only lost 15 lbs.” I was so proud of them for being willing to step up to the request, but I also made sure that BOTH of their stories were in fact FABULOUS and AMAZING. It’s about the journey not the difference on the scale between day 1 and day 90. Even the before & after picture do not fully depict the WHOLE essence or provide the details of the transformation that is not visible to the naked eye. (This will be a topic that will be saved for a whole different blog post – Stay tuned)
Many others didn’t respond to my request for volunteers. The reason why I am sure is because some may have missed the post or have not checked into the group, due to the holidays. While others, too may have not thought their own story was worthy of being told because they didn’t feel it could ever inspire anyone else. And then I am sure some of the silence was caused by people who were thinking the same thing I thought when was debating about going to my very first Super Saturday in Spring in April 2012. I remember experiencing some anxiety just at the thought of going to a event that required me to leave my son, drive over 1 1/2 hours to sit in a room full of strangers, not knowing what to expect, especially since I had only been a coach for 2 months. So I am sure take that anxiety and the add to it the unnerving thought of having to share a very personal, private, maybe sensitive and emotional part of their life with a room full of strangers sent some into panic mode.
So … while thinking about all of this I had a major ah-ha moment (which I seem to have more and more each day, now that I am working from home and have time to ponder, reflect and think).
I dawned on me that I used to be that person, I described above: terrified of public speaking in any form. Terrified of making a fool of myself. Terrified of being judged. At the mention of it, I would simply go immediately into panic mode and shut down. The answer was “NO!” period. I would not entertain the idea any further. I was truly terrified the first time I had to speak at our first very first night at Fit Club in July, even though it was 60 people from my own community, who I am sure were all more nervous than I was and wouldn’t have known one way or another if what I was saying was right or wrong. I used to even get major anxiety and even feel nauseous about an hour before I was to speak on a team call – which was pretty ridiculous when I think about it because I couldn’t even see the people who were listening on the other end, but yet even acknowledging these rational train of thoughts, I still just couldn’t seem to get past that almost reflex feeling of terror at the mention of public speaking!
One example sets out in my mind in particular – I literally lost my ability to speak to give my reply when Coby (Regional Sales Manager) told me that I had an assignment due in two weeks: make a video sharing my WHY for becoming and remaining a coach and then post it to YouTube. I put it off and even though it was in the back of my head, trying to be forgotten, it still loomed over my sub-consicence. I waited several days until after the deadline to complete the task. I waited for an evening, when I had the privacy to start this daunting task. It took countless tries until I finally got something that I was “okay” with using as the final copy to be uploaded for anyone to see. It wasn’t that I was ashamed of the story, I just simply still didn’t really like myself, so had a hard time liking what I saw on camera. Before I could change my mind, I uploaded it to YouTube. I knew I had to find a way to help myself become more comfortable with being in front of the camera in the future, because I knew that videos really would help my team and I would gain exposure to others who I could help. So as uncomfortable as it was, I forced myself to watch that first video over and over so many times that I lost count. Whenever I no longer flinched or twitched at the sight of myself or the sound of my own voice, is when I knew I had made it past the first hurdle. With each viewing, I focused on what my message was and how it would help others instead of focusing on the flaws that I saw in myself.
Just when I was feeling all proud of the progress, I made, I quickly realized that this accomplishment may have felt like LEAPS & BOUNDS to me at the time, but realistically it was more like HOPSCOTCH. Because despite the fact that I was still celebrating my victory, my mental celebration was interrupted by Coby’s next kick outside of my comfort zone. Leave it to him to about make me want to vomit almost instantaneously, when he ever so casually and nonchalantly mentioned one day on our weekly call that I would “get to” walk on stage at Summit in June of this year to be recognized as a 3 Star Diamond. He made it sound like a privilege everyday occurrence, (which it was an incredible, surreal experience and privilege to be up on stage and be recognized for your hard work), but to me at the time, it sounded more like a form of torture. Walking across a bed of hot coals sounded more appealing if I were to be given the option to choose. I even remember asking him if it was mandatory. What made it even more awesome was that he told me this weeks and weeks in advance so it gave me tons of time to really psych myself out over picturing the mental image of me having to walk out on a stage before thousands of people. Luckily, I was able to pull it all together and walk across that stage without anything horrific happening to me, like I had envisioned for weeks ahead of time. Silly me.
I have missed out on so many things all of my life because my parents were fearful of one thing or another, that didn’t always come into fruition. I was taught to NOT take risks, Listen to fear which meant STOP as soon as you feel scared or uncomfortable. We all come equipped with this feeling for a purpose – our safety. I would not recommend ignoring feelings of fear because by heeding your intuition in some situations can help prevent you from making an impulsive decision that can have long lasting, permanent, even fatal results. On the other end of the spectrum, some people allow the feeling of fear to take over and become crippling to their dreams. I was never taught nor had I ever tried using fear as a motivator or how to identify a legit fear vs. an irrational fear based on facts that could not be proven as accurate.
Nowadays, it seems a lot of people let fear come between them and their dreams more so because they are afraid of acquiring another bruise to their ego, because what if they take a chance and fail? What will others think and say? So instead of taking a leap of faith, they let fear of failure and fear of being judged keep them from ever pursuing the life they have dreamt of. After all, isn’t the responsible thing to play it safe? Stay with what the rest of the crowd is doing? Stick with predictability so you aren’t taking any risks? Then they rationalize that they made the right decision, but deep down inside they hate the life that they settled for and find other ways to try to fill that void.
I remember sitting in the arena at the MGM first day of Summit and saying to Ryan during the General Session: “There is absolutely NO way I could EVER get up there and stand on stage & talk in front of this many people. I’d throw up.”
Then something changed over the next 3 days. On the last day of Summit as I sat at the last General Session, something clicked which changed my thinking. I started to look at things with a different mindset, after listening to story after story from coaches who nailed their goals and were living their dream – a life by design, not default. I listened intently & realized they were no different than me. It’s so easy to assume and convince ourselves that the successful coaches – you know, the ones that you hear their name over and over, see them on stage, hear them on the National Wake Up Call, are Elite, etc. are lucky, they have it easier because of who they are or how long they’ve been a coach and that their story is real, but it’s just not something that you will ever see happen to a “normal person like me”. You rationalize and assume that all of these people had always been the same people you see TODAY fit, happy-go-lucky, brave, positive, confident, outgoing and been always been blessed with success and since you failed over and over, then this is not something that you could ever get because you are destined to be a failure. It is easy to tell yourself, you don’t have what they have and that it’s different for them for some silly reason like because they are more attractive than you, have brown eyes instead of blue, they live in a bigger community, their coach has more experience than your coach, they have a better weight loss transformation, they have more money than you and the list of ridiculous reasons goes on. Some even get discouraged and envious when they see others achieving the same goals they feel they have been working so hard for, but yet are so far away and they say “That’s not fair. Why did they get their faster?”
Throughout your lifetime, there will be others who didn’t have anyone believe in them or didn’t have anyone their to help them make it thru failed attempts or road bumps along the way and because of their experience they have caused you to doubt your own abilities. Maybe these people were simply cautioning you against going after your dream because someone they knew, knows someone who tried the same thing and failed and they truly are just trying to help you out to help you avoid wasting your time, energy, money and pride.
I witnessed this recently when overhearing a conversation between my two daughters and our friends nephew. Emily started telling Jesse and Haylie about how she was going to try out for the Track Team when she gets to Junior High. Before she could even finish that sentence they both were telling her “No! Don’t do that!” She asked “Why!?” And they both proceeded to tell her story after story that they had overheard from others at their school and how hard it was. Emily’s response was “Oh okay. I guess I won’t then.” You see how easily this can happen even from your own friends who have only your best intentions in mind. I made sure I explained to the kids, that they all should go for whatever goal they have regardless of what others say. They need to be the judge of those kind of things, and not allow others to. I also reminded them of the fact that just because it’s hard is not a sufficient reason to NOT do it because the challenge is what makes the triumph so much more sweeter. If it were easy, then everyone would be doing it, right?
Others problems derive from the fact that many people misuse their time, by comparing their achievements to the achievements of someone else. They measure their achievements and success against someone else – never even taking into consideration that their comparison is what they see from the outside which looks so polished and perfect, but doesn’t actually reflect the struggles, obstacles, failed attempts that that person had to overcome behind the scenes, or that they may have been able to put in more time and effort then you have been able to or maybe they sacrificed in areas that you were not willing to, because their why was different than yours and they knew that it may be hard NOW, but they could see the long range vision and they knew that if they stayed laser focused they would get there because their why was driving them to crush these goals sooner than your why.
So I decided to stop thinking that like most people. I had realized that all of these coaches who were sharing their stories were your average person, parents, who worked hard trying to juggle all their roles, duties and responsibilities in life, who just like me had struggled with insecurities, failures, setbacks, opposition from people they expected to support them and felt lost in life, like something was missing until they made the same decision I did and took a chance on themselves and this “Coaching Opportunity”.
When my brain processed all of this and my thinking shifted. I immediately stopped thinking “Wow! How inspiring. Good for them. BUT that couldn’t and will never be me!” Instead, I decided right then and there, “WHY THE HELL COULDN’T THAT BE ME UP THERE?”I have a story. I have found what had been missing in my life. Beachbody gave me life, changed the outlook I had on what the future had in store, brought meaning to my existence, made me feel like I had a purpose, brought some amazing, talented, genuine, people into my life which added more value, made me feel whole, strengthened my marriage, and gave me hope. Why would I not want to share this with others who may be feeling like their life has no purpose and feeling like they can’t find their way out of rock bottom?
Instead of thinking that I was not good enough or capable enough to accomplish some of the same things. I started seeing myself as a leader. I stopped judging others. I stopped comparing myself to others. I stopped comparing where I was at in the business to others who started at the same time because that was not fair to me. This was my business. My goals. My dreams. I only compete and compare myself to who I was yesterday. I have had several people that I respect, look up to and consider my mentors, that have provided advice, guidance, leadership and support, but I simply filed away the feedback and knowledge I received and followed them to use as an example and reminder of the type of leader I’d like to be, but not changing who I am to make myself a replica of who they are. I simply study their styles and see what has been most effective for them to help me form my own brand and style. I have asked questions on what was a realistic date to set for my goals to use somewhat as a benchmark, but closely evaluated my life, my needs, my priorities to help me set a goal date that worked for me, not copying someone else timeline. I taken complete ownership of my business, never expecting others to have provide the answers that I can find on my own or relying on someone else to do the work to help me achieve my goals.
Then, I finally realized that I did have a gift. My whole entire life I have focused on the fact that I was not athletic, had no musical talents, did not possess any artistic talents, was not coordinated in any aspect of my life and felt like a complete and utter failure for only excelling at one thing in life: being incredibly mediocre in every area of my life. I convinced myself that I was not special because I compared myself to my classmates who did possess a very obvious skill that the average person didn’t excel at ordinarily. Because I was never allowed to participate in sports or any club or extra curricular activity, I have never participated in anything competitive nor have I ere received any awards or trophies. I allowed myself to feel like a failure because of this. Not to sound mellow dramatic, but I often felt like I was just about the only human being who must’ve been passed over in the talent department at birth.
At age 30, there wasn’t one thing in my life that I had ever felt truly passionate about. I had no hobbies, no lasting interests and I was terrified of everything. I hated change. And I felt like even more of a failure because I felt guilty that despite having many things to be truly grateful for that others would love to have themselves, I still always felt this emptiness inside and longing, like something was missing. Once I became a coach, that empty feeling kept getting smaller and smaller. I was excited that I found something that I woke up excited about, thought about all day long, went to bed thinking about, dreamt about and made me feel like my presence here on this planet finally had purpose and meaning. I felt productive. I felt satisfied. I felt edified. I felt important. I felt like I had somewhere to belong. I felt like I mattered. I felt like I was worthwhile. I felt like I could make a difference. I felt like I was finally able to justify my being. I felt like what I was doing, was what I was born to do. And then I realized that it was really unfortunate that just because I hadn’t found my way by my 30’s (mainly due to the fact that I lived such a sheltered life, I never had the chance to develop abilities and skills that others acquired by the time they were young adults) that I just automatically assumed that I would never find my way. Why? Because most people my age had 3 decades to find themselves, create themselves and find their gift. So even though I was the same age, I started this process later in life, at age 15 when I left home. I failed and failed and failed and no one was there to tell me that this was okay and part of life. All I knew is that my parents were disappointed in me. So I threw the towel in, figured I’d always be a loser. Sadly, I missed out on a good portion of my 20’s because I decided to play it safe, instead of dreaming big and seeking out something that would make me feel alive and fill that hole. I set such small goals that it really never pushed me to be more than I was right then.
But I decided not to dwell on lost time or the past. After all, you can’t get back lost time. You can’t beat yourself up over it. What I needed to do is to start seeing myself as a worthy person. As a leader. And stop living in the shadows and re-shift my my outlook on everyday life, people, and how I reacted to the opportunities that would present itself.
I dug deep and finally identified why I had such a fear of public speaking. I knew that this was necessary if I wanted to be able to see myself as someone who could share their story to help others and share my gift with others. I would have to get over my fear of public speaking by finding the culprit that caused the fear to manifest and cripple me and also practice facing my fear.
I discovered a few things. I stopped caring what others thought of me and realized that I was the one who had a gift to share with them which would bring value to their life. They needed me. I made sure I reminded myself that whether they said yes or no, it would not change my goals or the direction I was moving. I realized that someone’s declination to join me or listen to my message was not something I should take personal. They are entitled to their own opinions and choices. I didn’t start this for anyone but me so whether I only got 1 or 1,000 people, as long as I counted as 1, that’s all that matters! I reminded myself that not everyone will connect with me so I should allow that to put doubts in my head or question my ability. My story will not speak to everyone. That’s what’s beautiful about LIFE – We all are different and we all have things that make us tick and sometimes the way we tick helps us click better with one person than with the next. This is not high school, I am not here to win a popularity contest.
Looking back, I realized the only times I had ever had to engage in public speaking was as a young child thru my teenage years, when I was forced to go from door-to-door or speak in front of a whole congregation (I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness until I left home at age 15). It was terrifying because I had no choice and was forced to share a message to people who were typicaly not interested and I didn’t believe or care about the message I was forced to share. It’s hard to “sell” something to someone when you don’t actually believe it or care about it or feel like you have an adequate amount of knowledge to be talking about. So that was always nerve racking. The only other scenario was having to speak in front of a whole class full of my peers throughout my school years, while presenting a report. Again, I was always forced to speak on a topic that I could care less about. Some of my classmates were so cruel and were constantly looking for things to pick on others about. I remember observing them all just waiting for whoever was up at the front of the classroom to mess up even the slightest bit so they could start ragging on them.
So I sat back and reflected on the facts I had. I realized I am not a child anymore. When it comes to public speaking as a Coach, this is MY story. No research or cue cards needed. This is something that I believe in 100% to my core and am absolutely passionate about. So sharing my story is easy, if you think about it. All you have to do is speak from your heart. There is no right or wrong answer because this is YOUR life. No one in the crowds can tell you your wrong. And then I realized as an adult, any opportunity that you have to speak publicly would most likely be to other adults. Most of the people in the crowd are there to learn from you or gain some inspiration and add value their life. They are more focused on what they can get from hearing you speak than to pick apart that tiny zit on your forehead or that you have a stain on your shirt or counting how many times you say “Um”. I kept reminding myself that this is not high school. What happened then and the insecurities I developed from my childhood, was no longer valid and it would be ONLY my fault if I allowed this to hold me back from embracing my gift and sharpening my skills that were strong. It would also be a disservice if I let my pride and ego get in the way and refused to change my way of thinking and refused to be bold and do something that made me feel a little uncomfortable because by not sharing my story, I might be withholding the keys to a better future to so many others who were where I was on day 1 and I could be the person who helps them feel whole and helps them fill that gap in their life. So I took ownership and decided that I would get over myself and see myself as that person I want to become and do whatever it took to become someone I am proud of, someone that makes a difference. I chose to overcome who I was and be all that I was truly capable, but allowed myself to bury that person so deep that I didn’t’ even know who I was. Once I kept pushing myself face to face with my fear, I realized it wasn’t really that scary. I got better. I felt more confident. I took note that all the things I was worried about never happened. And also reasoned,even if someone had laughed at me or even if I fell on my face in front of the crowds at our Fit Club those first few weeks, it would not be the end of the world.
I have become more confined and don’t second guess things as much. I have since then created over 100 YouTube videos and do so with ease because I realize that most of the people who view them are hoping to learn something from me, not there to pick me apart. And I totally accept that there will be plenty of people who do pick me apart, but that small percentage will not change my path or detour me from being me.
I have been so busy juggling many irons in the fire, that I forget sometimes to STOP. PAUSE. TAKE A STEP BACK. EVALUATE HOW FAR I’VE COME SINCE DAY 1. And that’s when I my head starts spinning when I realize that I am NOW doing things without second thought that just a few short months ago would sent me into a mild panic attack with a side of nausea. It recently dawned on me that I stepped up to the challenge of hosting 2 Super Saturdays and didn’t even have to give it a second thought. And now something I was terrified of, I now excel at – and these changes happened in less than 6 months. With anything in life, it’s good to focus on progress and finding a pipeline that will direct you to reaching a major goal by your set deadline, but one step at a time instead of expecting to do it in one giant leap over night, which more than likely lead to failure which may completely hit you right below the belt and suck all the wind out of your sails. Remember, slow and steady wins the race. Be the tortoise not the hare. Get the words “can’t”, “won’t”, “I’ll never” out of your head and vocabulary. If you can’t do it now. Figure out what it will take to be able to do it and what a reasonable time frame you should give yourself to slowly work up to being able do this. You can do anything you set your mind to. You can be anyone you want to be. You can change the way you think. You can strengthen areas where you are weak. You can fine tune your strengths to make you exceptional and extraordinary. You can overcome any past. Once a failure, not always a failure. You can change lives. So to all my fellow coaches, I want you to tell yourself OUTLOUD: “I not only CAN, but WILL do it!” … starting with your commitment to get to the first Super Saturday of 2014 on January 11, 2014. I can tell you this. This is an event which helps keep our heads in the game, hearts in tact, network of fitness support growing stronger and larger and helps us show our commitment to what we said we were going to do which makes people actually believe that we are committed to this and so they won’t have to wonder if you will get distracted yourself and not only abandon your own goals along the way, but abandon them too and leave them out there all by themselves to sink or swim. So I encourage ALL of you to make the connection of WHY attending these events are monumental to your personal growth, the growth of your knowledge, business and the way others see your commitment to this lifestyle, which will draw them to YOU because remember, anyone can buy Beachbody products from a few different methods. If they chose YOU as their coach, it’s not because of some sort of “facts” you copied and pasted about the latest program because anyone can use google to look up the facts. They chose YOU because they connected to YOU and could identify something about YOU. They believe that not only do the products work, but that you believe in not just the products but the company you represent. They feel secure that you have no doubts, that you know this is legit and you are not just trying to sell them a load of crap and then next month be trying to recruit them from a different company. Any hesitance or inkling that you give them that gives them the indication that you don’t fully have faith in what you are proclaiming or that you are not fully committed, others will be able to sense this. It has nothing to do with how much weight you have lost or how long you have been using the products. It has everything to do with if you truly believe this will provide and deliver what you are professing! You want to change your life and create your own destiny. Start believing you can do achieve any dream you desire. You can have the life you want, regardless of what others say or how you were raised. Success is the sum of consistent hard work and effort and learning from your mistakes and not keeping any secrets of what you have learned along the way. Coaches – if you want this: You have got to work for this. If you treat it like a hobby, then it will have inconsistent results and the rewards and benefits you reap from your efforts will not be very predictable. If you treat it like a business ALL day EVERY day instead of when it’s convenient or when it’s easy. If remove distractions, mental road blocks, refuse to allow anyone or any minor set back to make you feel like a failure or doubt or question your ability, commit to doing whatever it takes to make your dream come into fruition because after all it is YOUR dream and if you stop blaming others for your lack of success or expecting others to hold your hand and do YOUR work for YOUR business, are open to changing your mind set, have the ability to learn a lesson from every situation good or bad and file it away to use now if needed or at a later date to help you know how to handle a situation or to help give someone else out in that situation, instead of playing the victim every time something goes wrong, or refusing to help others that you meet along the way for fear that they may become competition and just focus on being a good person and building genuine, deep relationships with new people everyday, than you will see each month that your business, relationships with others, and your confidence grows stronger and more stable. But once you achieve your goals, you must continue all of the things you originally did to meet your initial goals and then you must reevaluate and set new goals so that you are constantly challenged and working towards bettering yourself. Keep growing. Keep improving.
Who is COMMITTED to being there on January 11th? My urging you to get there isn’t for MY sake, it’s for YOUR sake. 🙂 Just to clarify, when I say committed, I mean it’s a priority and you will be there, not “I will try unless something better comes up.”
If you are ready to commit to the necessary tasks to become a successful coach, then click here to find a location in your area. Contact the host. RSVP or register & pay for your ticket. Arrange for transportation or childcare or request for the day off NOW instead of waiting until the last minute. Add the event date & time in your daily planner or smart phone calendar, being sure to set alerts to remind you or whatever method you use to keep track of important events.
Here are some photos from the Super Saturdays that I have attended since I have been coach. (I have yet to miss one yet. I have vowed to get to any Beachbody Event within 4-5 hours driving distance. Only thing that will stand in the way is major illness and of course death). I am glad I didn’t chicken out even though I was extremely nervous and really petrified at having to participate in a group workout. But going to my first one was a game changer for me and that’s when I really saw the potential if I stuck with this and pledged myself to being a Coach, not just wearing the title.
If you want change. If you want to overcome your fears. If you want to achieve your dreams. If you desire to be the best version of yourself so that you can help others do the same, You MUST get started. You must set goals and you must stay true to them. Goals and dreams don’t change according to the weather or your mood or your relationship status. State your commitments that are non-negotiable TODAY!
Let’s start off 2014 walking the walk and talking the talk. Don’t just talk about it. Be about it. Build your own brand. I am ready to make 2014, even more rememberable than 2013, who is with me?