I’ve decided to just come out and say it!There is something I have been hiding because I have felt shame, disappointment and anger (with myself) over this. I really don’t know how to put it all into words. I felt like I had the world by the balls in 2013-2014. `I felt invincible, unstoppable, […]
Sober October – Day 1,458
The first 9 months of 2015 was a total shit show. I decided to regain control and that started with changing my lifestyle & who I associated with. At the beginning of October 2015, I made the decision to “cut back” on my drinking and gave myself ONLY 5 days to drink that month. I […]
The Runaway
𝙸 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟹… 𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗, 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔. 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚞𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚝, 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 “𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝”. 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜, 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 […]
- 2018
- ...
Surviving 2019
I haven’t updated my blog in months. 8 months to be exact. I wish I had a good reason why, but don’t. All I have are excuses. So much has happened, so much has changed in our life over the past 18 months. About a year ago, I shared that we’d relocated from Texas back […]
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road, time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go….
38 – THIRTY EIGHT – In the blink of an eye, here I am “middle-aged”, almost 40. How the hell did that happen? It seems like just yesterday that I was in my 20’s thinking to myself, “When Haylie is 18, I will be 36, exactly double here age!” At the time, 36 seemed so […]
Is this what “normal” feels like?
I never felt “normal”. I have sought out a solution, searched for help just to feel “normal”. Even though I didn’t know what “normal” felt like, I knew that MY “normal” wasn’t right. Five weeks ago, I spent an hour with a new doctor, who took the time to ask me in-depth questions regarding my […]
The Runaway
My Story ….. This is part of my story that I have never shared. Many of you know that I was adopted and have heard different parts of my adoption story, but I have never told the story of the night I ran away. This picture was taken over 3 months ago, but I am […]
3 years sober – Who dis?
1,096 days alcohol-free USUALLY when you see an “after” picture, it looks better than the “before”, but not this time. Never EVER did I think I’d be the sober one. Never EVER did I think that I could break up with alcohol. It had such a strong hold on me, that I felt powerless to […]
- 2018
- ...
Spreading HOPE through my story of mental illness
Hold on! There’s help coming! There’s hope! I’m holding on to HOPE! For as long as I can remember, I have been convinced that I’m “crazy”. I always and STILL wonder if mental illness is part of my family medical history, but being an adoptee…. I’ll NEVER know. I will always wonder if my broken […]
Love and Marriage through Sobriety
Sobering Up and Growing Up Sobriety not only changed me, but the dynamics of our marriage. Our love began when we were young. 25 and 29. We didn’t feel young then. But now at almost 38 and 42, looking back we WERE so young. Our love began when we were unhappy and unhappily married to […]